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Irish Bulls "It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life." "May you never live to see your wife a widow." "I hope that I may live to hear you preach my funeral sermon." "Talk about thin! Well, you're thin, and I'm thin, but he's as thin as the pair of us put together!" "Patrick! Patrick! Are you all right? If you're dead please tell me." A voice came back, "I'm not dead, William, but I'm knocked speechless." "We're overpaying him, but he's worth it." - Sam Goldwyn "I never liked you, and I always will." - Sam Goldwyn "Include me out." - Sam Goldwyn "It ain't over 'till it's over," - Yogi Berra "Sometimes you can observe a lot by watching." - Yogi Berra "Ninety-nine percent of this game is half mental" - Yogi Berra "Half the lies they tell me aren't true." - Yogi Berra "What time is it?" and Yogi Berra replied, "You mean right now?" A waitress in a pizza parlor asked Yogi Berra if he wanted his pizza cut into four slices or eight. Berra replied, "Better make it four. I don't think I can eat eight pieces." "With a pistol in each hand and a sword in the other" "Despite this aggressive apathy, we shall proceed." "Donít pay any attention to him ... donít even ignore him." "Itís only natural for some People to be artificial." "Time ages all but the very young>" "Donít blame God; Heís only human." "He is politely insulting ... brilliantly dull ... modestly arrogant ... sadly amused ... clearly con-fused ... routinely bizarre." "My hometown was a hotbed of tranquility." "During a depression everybody is unemployed because all the jobs are already taken." "Calvin Klein fashions are "proletarian Chic"". "Enough is never enough." "Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before." "Remember you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else." "All things being equal, all things are never equal." "I know one when I see it." -Justice Potter Stewart "The golden rule for success is ďNever fail"" "Give a man enough rope and heíll hang you." "People who live in glass houses should not get stoned." "Last guys donít finish nice." "Lust makes the world go round." "Virtue is the failure to achieve vice." "Little things come in small packages." "Mistakes are the stepping stones to failure." "The best offense is a good offense." "Where you stand depends on where you sit." "Some of it, plus the rest of it, is all of it." "Time is natureís way of keeping everything ftom happening at once." "You always find something in the last place you look." "Everything in a plain brown wrapper is dirty." "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone." "No good deed goes unpunished." "Put all your eggs in one basket, and WATCH THAT BASKET!" "Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." "Before you meet the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads." "If two wrongs donít make a right, try three." "Anything worth doing is worth doing in excess." "The amount of sleep needed by the average personís is 30 minutes more." "If God had meant for us to eat peanut butter, He would have lined our mouths with teflon." "If you cast your bread upon the water, it will return soggy." "One seventh of our lives is spent on Mondays." "Youíre never as sick as just before you stop breathing." "You canít tell a book by its lover." "The early bird catches the worm as a rule, but the guy who comes along later may be having lobster newburg and crepes suzette." "Ask not for whom the bell tolls and you will pay only station-to-station rates." "The less you bet, the more you lose when you winís." "I have nothing to say, and Iím only going to say it once.Ē A lumberyard clerk, when I complained about the cost of a few boards: ďYou think this stuff grows on trees?Ē "On balance, I think it is safe to say that I couldnít possibly disagree with you less." President Lyndon B. Johnson, on the riots occurring inís Watts: "Killing, rioting and looting are contrary to the best traditions of this country." "Here lies the body of John Mound, Lost at sea and never found." "Why should Irishmen stand with their arms folded and their hands in their pockets when England has called for aid?" "It was hereditary in his family to have no children." "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." - Samuel Goldwyn "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." - Yogi Berra "Back to back, they faced each other" - Anon



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